When Whitney Houston first came onto the scene it was the '80s and I was in my 20s. I can't say I was a big fan, I mean, I never bought any of her albums or attended a single concert, but I always admired her talent. What an amazing voice she had, such strength and purity.
Never in her career did she make more of an impression on me than when the song "The Greatest Love" came out. The song spoke about loving yourself and not letting others tear you down. At the time, they were words I especially needed to hear and anyone who ever heard Whitney Houston sing knows she didn't just sing those words, she sang them loudly and proudly - as if each word were being ripped straight from her heart and soul in an effort to impart a message she knew to be true.
And yet, this woman who sang about never walking in anyone's shadow - the woman who had stood on stage after stage and proclaimed she had found the greatest love of all inside of herself - this woman seemed to betray everything she sang about as she continuously fell down that rabbit hole during the last couple of decades of her life.
Maybe I shouldn't be speaking this way at this point in time, but at least it's honest - I felt betrayed and disappointed by her drug use and behavior. I know now that the strong, confident Whitney Houston that empowered me through song all those years ago was only a projection of a woman that didn't exist. I'd created her just as if I'd imagined her from the text of a novel. Whitney Houston hadn't been pouring out her soul, she'd been singing a song, reading lyrics, and cashing paychecks. There wasn't anything wrong with that, that's what singers do, they sing. Do I really believe that the Beatles lived in a Yellow Submarine or knew a guy by the name of Rocky Raccoon? Of course not, but "The Greatest Love" was different somehow; it was personal, and she made us believe. Maybe it was because she was beautiful and talented with everything going for her; the words seemed tailor-made for her so perhaps we just wanted to believe.
Drugs are insidious houseguests. At the very least they'll steal money, laughter, and dreams. Let them stay too long they'll steal your family, your health, and your life. As pervasive as drugs are in today's society, there are very few anymore who can say they have not been exposed to drug use or that they haven't done drugs themselves. So why do some of us try it, have a bit of fun, and then move on with our lives after recognizing the futility and senselessness of it all? The key perhaps, lies in Ms. Houston's own song. Perhaps she sang them too many times, but I'm truly saddened that she was never able to listen to her own lyrics and love herself enough to step out of the shadow of chemical dependency.
For the rest of us... "If I fail, if I succeed, at least I lived as I believed. "
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